Re: Sink

Dear Mr. landlord,

The sink was broken so I paid a homeless man $600 to fix it and deducted it from the rent.

Sincerely,
Mr Tennant.

PS. We need a new sink.

Courtesy of "Crunky"! Check him out!

Re: Rent

Dear Mr Landlord,

I gave my rent to your co-worker. Honest...

With a huge grin,
You tennant (and most favorite person).

Re: BRB

I see you have vanished to China for the week. Now what will I write about?

Re: Toilet

Dear Mr Landlord,

Are you sure that I can't have a toilet installed in my bedroom to save me from walking all the way down the hall?

Bursting,
A Full Bladder

Re: Website

Dear Mr Landlord,

The website you saw on my computer screen was just your average image bored where users like to exchange . . tasteful. . images. Honestly.

Delivarin'
Local /B/tard

Re: Rusing

Dear Mr Landlord,

Everytime I see you, I raff, then I ruse.

Rove you rong time,
Ruser.

Re: Dishes

Dear Mr Landlord,


Those weren't dirty dishes on the side; Just what I was saving for later.

Licking your plates clean,
Your tenant.

Re: Party

Dear Mr Landlord,

TECHNICALLY, It wasn't a room party. There was no music.

Sincerely,
Your tennant.

P.S. The guy asleep in the bath is nothing to do with me.

Re: Furniture

Dear Mr Landlord,

I can explain why your furniture is missing. It seems that the house was burgled while i was at work. The bedding caught fire. There was a severe case of woodworm. A magician vanished it. I sold it so I could pay you my rent.

With your rent,
Soon to be evicted.

Re: Morning

Dear Mr Landlord,

Don't be surprised that I am awake this early. I just didn't sleep.

Wearily,
Sleeping Ugly

Re: Cooking

Dear Mr Landlord,

I am fully aware that it is 2am, but this is the only time that I am hungry.

Noticeably,
The smell of bolognese

Re: Spam Emails

Dear Mr Landlord,

Could you be so kind as to translate these foreign spam emails for me please?

诚挚,
本

Re: Music

Dear Mr Landlord,

Loud music will NOT kill you, honest.

Reassuringly,
Black Sabbath

Re: Bandwidth

Dear Mr Landlord,

Must you download films while I am trying to raid?

Pleadingly,
Tasdingo

Re: Blog

Dear Mr Landlord,

One day, you may find out that I created a blog about you.

Sincerely,
Your Tennant.